Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Plea for Help for Friends

A great post from a friend.

Please visit and do what you can to get this out into the world!

Thank you all!!!


What WOULDN'T you do?


Tuesday, August 6, 2013


I read an article last night which was terrifying in its content and because I've seen that kind of thing too many times to have it be surprising anymore. The article was about a man who had taken his rifle and handgun to his wife's workplace. He then proceeded to shoot her between 3 and 5 times and then shot himself, taking his life as well.

What frightens me about this kind of thing is one of the hallmarks of why so many American's want real gun control. It's that part of guns which makes killing so easy to do. I understand that guns are in the Constitution and they have a place in our history. The problem is that now days we can't go even a day without seeing a story that chronicles a child shooting a sibling because of a parent or guardian who doesn't understand common sense or gun responsibility.

There is a need in this country for a serious discussion on limits. As well as mental health. This is not either of those discussions. It is however my thoughts on guns. Here goes....

Guns are a simple and easy way to kill. That's all they are. You can say that they are for hunting (which is stalking an animal to kill in a society where most of the people who do it don't need the meat so it's just sport really) or for "home protection" but the reason you have a gun instead of a bat is because you feel the need to either do maximum damage (i.e., kill) or show that you can. They have lost the reason for which the 2nd Amendment was actually written. We have no fear of our government as they did during the Revolutionary War and the writing of the Constitution. But people feel the need to arm themselves against imaginary foes and thus these weapons end up killing innocent people one way or another.

The story which prompted this posting is a perfect example of what happens all too often. Someone has a bad day and decides that someone has to pay for the circumstances that led up to the day in question. Pick a person or place, grab your guns and head out. Their lives mean nothing, obviously. And so people die. All because someone has a bad day. How is that civilized?

The NRA has popped up to say to its members "If THOSE other people had guns they could stop the person having the bad day" and their members parrot the concept. For them EVERYONE should have a gun.And what would we be then? The NRA also sponsors the "Stand Your Ground" laws which say you get to shoot someone who you think is going to harm you negating any thought of their humanity or life. Over a TV if need be or even a drink. It really doesn't matter. Because the bottom line for the NRA is money. Money and power and they don't care who dies as long as money gets into the hands of gun manufacturers.

I respect human life. I also like my possessions but I won't take a human life over my television. Or even my car. Things can be replaced. Human beings can't. That's pretty simple.

Friendship (5/12/11)

I wrote this back in 2011 in May. I never posted it for some reason. Here it is now though.

There are all different types of friends.  Acquaintances, who blow in and out of our lives like a breeze or the seasons.  Friends, who take places in our lives but will move in and out as life moves along.  And then there are the best friends.  What I see as a pair of friends who care truly and deeply for each other,without looking for "what's in it for them".  There is love there, but not a romantic love.  I believe it's stronger to be honest.  As true love can be.  Not to say that romantic love isn't important, but it grows into something different.  This is why the best and longest lasting marriages are between "best friends" as I have seen through my own life.  These types of friends are rare.  I would guess that they are usually of the same sex, but not always.  I have found that it's the men who I have had the pleasure of being on this level of friendship with the most challenging.  For some reason, it is just very different than a best friend relationship with a woman.  In the past few weeks I lost someone  who I thought was a best friend due to choices she made that effected me deeply. This isn't the venue for the particulars of the situation (although not many read my blog, I'm trying to be as discreet as I can, because you never know).  The interesting thing is that were it a man who was the "best friend", things would be different. The choices that I made and my reactions.  I find this interesting when I set myself outside the situation and look at it as objectively as I can.  The truth of the matter is that as acquaintances come and go, friends stay on and "best friends" linger in our hearts and to lose one is heart-breaking.  But if they are lost, then were they ever a best friend to begin with? Or just a friend who stayed on a little longer or someone who didn't share whatever it was that made you believe they were who you thought they were to have made them a best friend.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Update to Abortion post

The conservative in question had told me many times that this bill was for "women's health care" using the example of  LASIK surgeons. "Shouldn't these clinics have the same requirements as a LASIK office? Those doctors have to abide by the same regulations b/c they are ultimately performing surgery at these places" Now while I am all for women's health care I couldn't find anything on the net to back up her claim. When she and I started talking it was with an agreement that FACTS MATTER in decisions. So I had asked several times for corroboration of her claim, believing she was being factual. She continued to say "keep looking". When I had exhausted such search engine questions I decided to call LASIK offices and asking. What I was told by the offices I reached was this: There is no regulation which says LASIK surgeons need to have any privileges in their local hospitals or even admitting privileges to perform their surgeries. So it looks like this "fact based" conservative disregards facts in her actual decision making. I did ask her about it but she has declined to answer. At all. Hmmm.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Abortion rights: Conversations with a conservative...

I have recently had to opportunity to "Twitter friend" a conservative Tea Party Texan woman. It is an enlightening prospect. We agreed to follow one another and focus on the facts of things. But soon I realized that it's not just the facts but the conclusions that we come to from those facts. I had never before been so frustrated at the views of another human being who I wasn't related to. She is a nice person. I just have huge problems with the way she sees (and thus I imagine most conservatives) the world. It's astounding to me, but I guess it's the same way for 'them' looking in at me. So here goes a breakdown of what has happened thus far in one of our discussions.

Abortion rights

 I had posted something regarding the TX SB5 bill http://legiscan.com/TX/text/SB5/id/867548 and how I felt it was absolutely wrong. I had not read the entire bill but had seen the summary. SLW (my conservative Twitter friend) sends a message saying that it was a good thing because it brought up the clinics in TX that performed abortions which were surgical in nature. Now I agree that women need excellent care as do all people. However I was astounded at what I saw next. SLW stated that all the attention was ridiculous b/c the bill was being blown out of proportion. If you recall people from all over the USA went to show support for TX women and help save choice. So I said, well if even 5 of the supposed 37 out of 42 closed in a state as large and spread out as TX it's bad, but she continued to state that it was "all about saving women through health care". I was amazed. So I asked "Are you pro-choice?" to which after a few more "it's about health care" tweets she answered "I am up until the 24th week b/c babies have survived when born that early".  


This means several things to me a) she isn't pro-choice b/c there aren't limits in choice (as I have been informed numerous times from the gun crazed crowd)  b) there are discussions out there which put women even greater danger b/c of what NICU's can do c) the bill bans at 20 (no response on this)  d), oh it goes on and on.

So I reply and we continue to go back and forth. She says it's just about women's health care b/c doctors should have privileges at hospitals near them. But when I bring up that doctors who perform abortions are not welcomed onto hospital staff when the hospitals are religious (that covers quite a few here) and are doctors who perform LASIK required to have hospital privileges in TX at the hospital nearest them? She says yes but I have yet to find any evidence of it. 

Fundamentally she refuses to see this bill as anything more than a way to enhance women's health. The reality is that the bill also discusses "fetal pain" which is unreal. And the requirements expected from these women's centers are unbelievable. And that doesn't even take into account things like people who don't realize they are pregnant until after wk 20, which we know happens b/c there is an entire series based on the reality of women who didn't know until birth (it's not a fun show). I don't understand women who support and defend these things.

It's truly stunning to me that in a day and age where women have so much to fight for as a group, we fight amongst ourselves about something like choice. There are so many factors in a woman's decision to terminate a pregnancy. Not even 12% of abortions are outside of the first trimester. Does there need to be legislation anywhere that makes even first trimester choice harder? And please don't get me started on how rape kits DON'T work to facilitate pregnancy prevention. 

These are my thoughts on the conversation. Thanks for reading! 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Where is the 'Spirit of the Season'?

What is it with the 'Spirit of the Season' not applying to the road or grocery stores?

So today, coming out of a shopping center I stopped to allow 2 cars that had been waiting at a stop sign for quite a few cars ahead of me, to go b/c I wasn't in a hurry and no one was behind me. Off they drove w/o a look or notice past my waving them through with a smile. And then I got honked at by a person who'd raced up behind me. Obviously the 30 sec they had to wait was just unreasonable. This is not uncommon I know and I know I am not the only person who tries to be kind to others on the road, b/c it happens to me and I try to acknowledge the kindness of others. A little wave or a smile going by is enough, but too hard for many.

And as for the grocery store... Well, it might be easier to shop at the Super Bowl. So many people going to shop on a Saturday, typical for working families and the Double Coupon day makes it even busier. But to run in for some milk and wait in line for the express line watching a woman say to her child loud enough that I heard it 2 carts back that the guy in front couldn't count his 17 items when it says 15. Is the 2 extra items going to make a huge deal? So I moved to the self check-out, waiting behind a woman who was having the ever popular issue with the bag noticing the item that she needed to wait for the manager on duty. As she looked back at me and apologized I said "Don't worry about it." even though my back was bothering me from standing around. She then went into a diatribe about the inability of the self-check outs to work. So I politely said that she could override the bag requirement by pushing a button that seemed obvious to me. I was not polite enough as I was told that "You don't need to be a bitch about it, I'm almost done." And as she left after paying & getting her bags I got called the same name again.

Now I know that people get rushed and things are busy. But if there is going to be a big to do about the 'War on Christmas', maybe we should start with just having civility towards one another maybe during the holiday season.. And here's a great idea: How about year round?

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

PBS & Muppets v. Romney

Just makes me smile. :-)

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